


The Build Up.

by sarahoftarth



Series: 6 years in the making. [1]
Category: Game of Thrones RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Actors, Angst, Awkward Boners, Drunken Confessions, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Game of Thrones References, Jealousy, Masturbation, Nik is divorced, RPF, Season/Series 08, Slow Burn, gwendolaj - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-22
Updated: 2018-10-25
Packaged: 2019-06-14 13:14:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 21,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15389532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarahoftarth/pseuds/sarahoftarth
Summary: Hey everyone, thanks for clicking on my fic!This is the prequel to The Aftermath of the Fashion Show, a build up to how they got there.Enjoy!





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, thanks for clicking on my fic!
> 
> This is the prequel to The Aftermath of the Fashion Show, a build up to how they got there.
> 
> Enjoy!

* * *

 

 

A drink plonked down on the table in front of Gwen, with her blurred vision, she looked up from her phone and followed the arm that was attached to the glass. The arm belonged to Nikolaj, Gwen smiled at him to show her thanks for the drink, she’ll pay him back tomorrow. Her phone vibrated, she looked down at the notification as she felt Nik sit back down next to her.

Squinting a little, in the hopes that it would help her see better Gwen read that *[AO3] Chapter 4 of ‘The Bang That Was Promised’ has been posted*. A small smile rose from her lips, she had started to read it earlier while waiting for her driver to pick her up.  She’d got a tip from Kit to read fanfiction, before his sex scene with Emilia, Kit was apprehensive about what the fans would want and expect of him, so he read fanfiction.

As Brienne and Jaime’s sex scene in Season 8 was fast approaching, Gwen felt the same as Kit as Jaime and Brienne’s relationship has been going on from season 3, she didn’t want to disappoint the fans. And that is how Gwen fell down the fanfiction rabbit hole that she is in now, she had even made an account so that she could bookmark the helpful ones that she had read and subscribed to the actively updating ones so that she didn’t miss a chapter.

From the ones that she has read so far, she could tell that they both had some big boots to fill. They were so descriptive and well written, she thought she was reading a novel - she almost forgot that Brienne was _her_ character and that she was another fan reading about them. Some of them were hot, so accurate that they could be scripts for the show, those were the ones that she bookmarked. Saved them for when the scenes came around… or that one time when she was alone and had no plans for the day.

She didn’t plan for it to happen that way but it sparked something inside her, every paragraph so graphic, so detailed that she could picture it in her head. Her and Nikolaj, together, naked, having sex. It made her breath catch, her heart beat quicker and before she knew it, her hand was down her pants. Her fingers slick with moisture from her imagination and the words from a fanfiction. When one story ended she just started reading the next one and then the next one, her fingers moving between sliding in and out of herself and taking slow but firm swipes of her clit. It was solid under the pad of her finger, each rub over it made sparks flow through her body. In the fanfic she was reading it was Jaime touching Brienne’s clit but in her head all she could picture was Nikolaj and herself, their characters forgotten about.

Her climax arrived, images in her mind of Nik thrusting inside her, her legs wrapped around his waist as he grips onto her hips tightly to keep her in place. Gwen’s body shook, her back arching as her walls clenched around her fingers as she continued pushing them inside herself. She was speechless, her orgasm leaving her mind wiped except from the ‘N’ sound she quietly moaned into the pillow beside her. Images of her co-star, sweaty post sex filled her mind as she laid there afterwards trying to catch her breath.

‘’Is he missing you?’’ Nik asked Gwen, her cheeks turning red from the memories.

‘’Huh?’’ Gwen asked back, looking at him confused but she could see that Nik’s eyes were on her phone. ‘’Oh no, that wasn’t him’’ She shook her head.

She left the conversation for a few seconds but she needed to know the answer. ‘’Have you ever read fanfiction before?’’

The question sparked Nik’s interest, he turned his body more towards Gwen’s as he knew this was going to an interesting conversation. ‘’I haven’t read it but I know of it, have you?’’

Gwen held her phone up to show Nik the notification. ‘’That’s what the notification was, a chapter update’’

Nik nodded as he read the title of the fic. ‘’The bang that was promised’’ Nik read. ‘’What’s it about?’’

Gwen blushed a little. ‘’Its, uhhhh, about… us’’ She stammered, nervous of his reaction. ‘’Well, not us! But Jaime and Brienne. Although there probably is fanfiction about us’’ Gwen laughed, trying to ease the tension inside her.

‘’Noooo! Really?!’’ Nik’s eye nearly bulged out of his head. ‘’About us? Like me and you? Have you read one?’’

Gwen’s laugh got louder, her tension easing. ‘’No, not about us, but I have read some Jaime and Brienne ones. Our ‘ship’ name is Braime!’’ she explained proudly.

‘’Why are you reading fanfiction anyway?’’ Nik asked, his composure serious now.

‘’I’m, uh, a little bit nervous about our intimate scenes coming up and I asked Kit and Emilia how they prepared for theirs and they both said fanfiction… so I gave it a try’’. Gwen picked up her drink and downed the whole glass, the confession making her anxious again, not that alcohol will make things better.

Nik huffed beside her, a grin spread along his face. She felt him moved closer and his arm wrap around her shoulders, pulling her so that she was flush with his body. Her head rested on his shoulder, she could feel the skin of his throat rest against the top of her head, so close that his scent was invading her nose. The slight musky aftershave he wore mixed with his natural scene, still a little sweaty from the day of filming they had just done. It made her head spin a little, maybe it might have been the alcohol too but she was too lost in his alight embrace to think rationally.

‘’You don’t need to be nervous Gwen, I’ve done sex scenes before so I know its going to be okay’’ Nik took a pause and pressed her body closer, Gwen lifted her head at the movement so that she was looking at him, his lips pressed against her forehead. ‘’Plus, it’s not as if we’ve not seen each other naked before, right? We saw everything in Harrenhal!’’ Gwen could feel the vibrations of his voice against her skin, his lips forming a smile as they laughed.

For the rest of the night over many _many_ more drinks, Nik proceeded to talk about the process of sex scenes and how it works. Gwen then shared with him some plots of the fanfiction that she has read, explaining how graphic and descriptive they were, promising to send him some links.

 

 

*************************************************

 

 

Gwen woke the next morning in her hotel room, no recollection of how she got there. Picking up her phone from the nightstand it showed a message from Nik.

 **Nikolaj:** You fell asleep on me last night so I put you to bed but not before you dragged me onto the bed and insisted on taking some selfies! Ill send you the clear ones, about 90% of them were blurry. Goodnight Gwen x

***Nikolaj sent 10 photos***

Gwen scrolled through the photos, some were embarrassing, some funny and some just hit her right in the gut. 1 particular photo they are laid cuddled together, Nik’s arm around her holding her body against his, her hand on his chest and her lips pressed against his cheek. They looked like a couple, like they were together, like they belonged together. A pang of guilt spread through her body, what would her partner think? Even though Nik was no longer married, she still somehow felt guilty about his ex-wife, it was probably the hangover but her feelings were in full swing.

Tracing her fingers along her lips, outlining the shape, hoping and praying to remember the moment that she kissed his cheek. The next photo showed them both in a fit of laughter, it was after the kiss because Gwen could see the lipstick mark on his cheek. Both of their expressions made her smile, she could almost hear his deep chuckle and her loud honking laugh mixing together in her head. They laughed together over the years of filming together that Nik’s laugh became a sound that she craved, strived to make him happy especially through his divorce.

Gwen saved the photos to her phone, wanting to look at them when her head was a little clearer. While she was on her phone she messaged Nikolaj wondering if she was awake.

 

 

**************************************

 

 

Nik had been awake for an hour before Gwen messaged, also looking through the photos from last night. He was about as half as drunk as Gwen even though they had the same to drink. Swiping through the photos, he located the one where she kissed him on the cheek, it made his heart beat a little faster, a small pink blush tingle in his cheeks. Now there was a little time jump between the next few photos but he never told her what happened because he didn’t want her to be embarrassed or for them to ruin their friendship.

Gwen kissing him on the cheek surprised him, it made him turn his head forgetting what she had just done. Her lips were millimetres from his, he could feel the warmth of her breath against his lips. They both swallowed at the same time, both felt the awkwardness in their drunken thoughts. Nik had no kissed anyone since his ex-wife, he hadn’t so much as thought of another woman since his ex-wife, almost 6 months post-divorce. Even though he was full of alcohol, he knew she was in a relationship so he broke the silence.

‘’I think you’re drunk, you need to sleep’’ Nik told her, his voice soft and airy as a little chuckle came out.

Gwen just stared at him with wide eyes, flicking down to his lips every few seconds as she nodded at his words. ‘’I do need to sleep’’ Gwen replied, taking a small breath. ‘’But I also need to do this’’ Continuing the sentence, the word _this_ was muffled by their lips.

A small pressing, that was all, their lips meeting slightly just quick enough for them both to register and pull back. Gwen instantly started blushing, he could see the regret swimming in her eyes. ‘’Oh god Nik, I’m so sorry’’ Her tone filled with sadness.

Nik reached for her shoulder, gave it a squeeze and smiled. ‘’No, hey it’s okay, we’re drunk, it didn’t mean anything.’’ Giving her another squeeze when she nodded and wiped away the tear that had fell on her cheek.

They both laid there for the next few minutes, Nik letting Gwen calm down, reassuring her that it’s okay. Holding her close until he felt her laugh a little beside him, her body shook as her hand came up to cover her mouth. Gwen’s laugh was infectious, Nik couldn’t help but feel the chuckle that was building inside, a smirk forming on his face watching Gwen trying to keep calm. That was how the photos started again, the pair stopped holding on their laughter and let out the tension. Nik managed to capture one clear photo from laughing fit and that was the one he sent her.

Nik opened the message from Gwen and they agreed to meet downstairs for breakfast as they had the day off filming and were going to go exploring.

As Gwen has spent last year filming nearly all her scene in the Winterfell location of Dublin and this is Nik’s 1st time filming in there, Gwen was excited to tour Nik around and show him all the touristy spots but also discover some new things of her own. Starting as a group of 4, Nik and Gwen were joined by Kit and Sophie but the other 2 had a specific destination in mind so they parted ways after about 20 minutes, promising to meet back for a few pints before returning to the hotel.

They walked around the little towns nearby, buying souvenirs and eating until their stomachs told them to stop. Nik took photos of some natural scenic spots and Gwen took photos of dainty shops with cute yet impressive displays before spying something that she _had_ to be – Nik must have rolled his eyes 40 times but a little thrill went through his body every time Gwen excitedly grabbed his hand and dragged him in. It wasn’t always one sided though, Nik did see things he wanted but he was a little more reluctant to go in, not wanting to waste her time. Gwen had to physically push him in, placing herself behind him, her chest flat against his back as her arms gripping his shoulders. She was so close, he could feel her breath on his neck as she spoke into his ear from behind, her demanding tone making his stomach flip a little.

‘’Nik, for the last time, _get_ into that store!’’ Gwen spoke through gritted teeth, only to have him laugh in return. She slapped his arm and started laughing herself.

Of course, they got stopped a few times by fans, successfully located by both Gwen and Nik’s Instagram stories leaving a trail wherever they went. They made it to a seaside, a little secluded patch of sand with benches lined up on the pavements behind it. With only 3 people on the sand, they decided to sit and watch the sun start to set beyond the sea. Both again taking out their phones, snapping pictures to remember the sight before them.

‘’Are you finished? I’m going to do an Instagram live video thing?’’ Gwen asked Nik, Nik quickly put his phone away and turned towards her phone in her hand, naturally putting her arm around her body so that they fit together more naturally at the angle. The placement of his hand sent shocks around her body, warming her waist which spread to her face as she started to blush.

‘’Hello everyone, Me and Nik are here in Dublin, just finished wandering around and we’re relaxing by the sea’’ Gwen looked at Nik and smiled, silently asking if he wanted to say anything. Nik leaned forward, chest now against her back. They both chatted to the fans, answering the questions that they had written. Gwen spotting some familiar names from their continuous support from likes and comments on her photos. She gave a shout out to the fans, especially ‘The Braime Bunch’ as she found out from a bit of stalking which was made up of 6 girls from around the world who had become close friends through their love of herself.

After Gwen ended the live video, they both sat in silence, taking in the view. Nik’s arm was still around Gwen’s body, both now comfortable enough to not move. One of the woman that was on the beach walked towards them with her dog which came running over and jumped up at them. The woman tried to calm the dog but it never listened, apologising profusely. In a thick Irish accent, she spoke to them. ‘’I’m so sorry about that, only came over to see if you wanted me to take your photo, I saw you from down there and it looked like you were struggling a little’’

Gwen laughed, giggling at the truth in her statement, the live video started to hurt her arm about 2 minutes of holding it the air. Noticing Nik beside her was not reacting, she looked at him, curious. He moved his head close to hers so whisper in her ear, his breath tingling her neck, making the hairs stand on end, he spoke. ‘’I didn’t understand what she said’’. Nik looked back at her face a little embarrassed. She explained what the woman said and they both agreed, Gwen handed the woman her phone as they both stood with their backs to the water, wanting to get the scenic sunset in the frame.

‘’You’re such a stunnin’ couple’’. The woman said as she handed Gwen her phone back. Even though he misunderstood her the 1st time, this time Nik understood her completely, seeing Gwen blush violently he quickly went to correct the woman but Gwen stopped him. Nodding at him, she thanked the woman as she obviously didn’t recognise the both of them so why point out a little mistake. ‘’Thank you, and thanks again for the photos you took’’ Gwen hugged her.

Nik couldn’t help but think about why Gwen didn’t correct her but he knew one thing for sure, the feeling he got at the woman thinking they were a couple made his stomach flutter, he liked it… a lot, the fact that Gwen didn’t change it intensified the feeling.

When the woman walked off leaving them alone, Nik couldn’t help but ask. ‘’Why didn’t you correct the woman? She thought we were together, what if she recognised us? You’re with someone, what if she posts somethi- ‘’ Gwen interrupted Nik’s spiralling before he started to panic.

‘’It’s okay, she didn’t recognise us, she would have said if she did, okay? Plus, it was only for a picture, it’s not as if we kissed or anything’’ Gwen spoke, hopefully soothing Nik’s worry but it spiked again when Gwen mentioned the kiss, his breath caught on an inhale making him cough.

‘’We must make a convincing couple if some stranger mistakes us together’’ Gwen replied, trying to humour the tension. She leaned her head on his shoulder, snuggling into Nik’s side as they looked into the distance. ‘’If things were different, I think we’d make a great couple, don’t you think?’’ Gwen asked Nik.

Nik just nodded his head and gave a simple ‘’Yeah’’ hoping Gwen didn’t feel his heart hammering inside his chest as a bashful smile grew on his face.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this fic. As always, comments and critiques are welcome!
> 
> Love, Sarah x  
> -  
> tumblr: sarahoftarth.tumblr.com  
> twitter: twitter.com/sarahoftarthh


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, thanks for clicking on my fic.
> 
> Hope you're all having a lovely Friday and enjoy this chapter!

* * *

 

 

‘’Places everyone, shooting starts in a minute’’ The director shouted to the room, everyone automatically fit into place. Kit, Emilia and Sophie sat at the top table, the rest of the cast were sat on the benches on each side of the room leaving a space in the middle, the same layout as the previous season at Winterfell. The chatter of the cast eventually quietened, everyone was ready but someone was missing. Maisie looked beside her and saw the seat empty, she stood up and looked around the room but she couldn’t find her. She tapped Dan who was sat on the other side of the empty seat and asked ‘’Where’s Gwen?’’

Dan just shrugged his shoulders before he joined Maisie in the search for their co-star. In the end they just asked the director, who done what they should have done in the first place and shouted her through the megaphone, it was a small set so she couldn’t have been far. ‘’GWEN! Hurry up!’’

 

* 

 

Just outside the set door, Gwen and Nik were stood talking about the upcoming scene. It was an important scene as it will have a huge effect on both their story lines. Filming their scenes together has always been an ordeal, it never goes right the first time… or the 4th and 5th time either. They needed to ace this scene but outside the set all they could do was laugh and tease each other.

‘’And you promise you won’t make me laugh right?’’ Gwen asked with a straight face while Nik grinned at her. ‘’Promise me Nik!’’

‘’Gwen, we say this every time, it never works!’’

This went back and forth for about 5 minutes, both placing the blame on each other. Gwen reached for his hand and held it. ‘’If you love me, you’ll promise me’’ Gwen said, a grin on her face as the laughter started to die down.

The sentence made Nik’s mouth go dry, his throat go tight as he tried to swallow. Suddenly a loud call for Gwen’s name was heard, the director from inside the set. ‘’Oh shit, that’s me’’ Gwen said, starting to straighten her clothes with her free hand. Gwen’s grip on his hand was strong, her fingers curling around his hand squeezed to emphasise her next words. ‘’Remember, promise me!’’ Gwen called as she started walking away.

He watched her walk away and disappear behind the door, he looked down at the hand that Gwen had just held and closed his fist. ‘’I promise’’ he spoke to himself, a warm feeling filling his chest.

 

 *

 

On set filming was going well, no one had messed up yet. It was almost time for Nik to enter the room, on cue the extra ran in and interrupted the meeting that was being filmed and announced ‘’the King Slayer’s arrival at the gate’’. Kit left to inspect the situation and returned, that was the cue for the rest of the cast to stop arguing and grumbling about the Lannister intrusion. Many of the cast members rose when he entered but Gwen’s instruction was to sit and think, her head lowered a little lost in thought as Kit started talking.

‘’It is true, Ser Jaime is in Winterfell. His only request was _to speak to Lady Brienne_ ’’ When Kit finished talking everyone slowly turned their heads towards Gwen, her character was instructed to not react but to keep looking at her knees until Dan elbowed her.

‘’Brienne, Ser Jaime is waiting in the courtyard for you’’ Kit spoke again, this time Gwen was paying attention. She rose from her seat, with wide eyes she stared at Sophie. They shared an intense look and Sophie gave a nod to show Sansa allowing Brienne to see Jaime again. The emotion in Gwen’s face was powerful, tears were welling in her eyes as she almost ran towards the door trying to avoid the camera that she had to walk past.

Walking through the door, Gwen looked up and saw Nik with his back to her, looking out around the yard. She stood at stared at him as instructed, a small smile on her face as the tear that had formed started to roll down her cheek. ‘’Ser Jaime’’ She spoke softly. This was supposed to be Nik’s cue to turn, but she may have said his name a bit too softly. She looked at the director and he signed to do it again so she repeated his name a little louder but still he didn’t turn, Gwen looked back at the director again and he sign to speak louder. So this take was obviously ruined by now so Gwen just went ahead and screamed ‘’JAIME!!’’

This made Nik jump and stumble, slipping slightly on the ice and snow. Which in turn made Gwen laugh, a loud honking sound as she rushed to put her hand over her mouth. After stabilising himself, Nik turned and looked at Gwen and the crew behind him. As soon as Nik saw Gwen laughing, he started to smirk and chuckle himself. Gwen’s laughter turned to shock as she realised that he did it on purpose.

‘’You made me laugh!’’ Gwen shouted as she stomped towards him, ‘’You promised you wouldn’t!!’’ She lightly punched his shoulder.

‘’I couldn’t help it, it’s too easy to trick you’’ Shrugging his shoulders, Nik winked at Gwen, a blush glowing slightly on her face. She looked around, seeing if anyone else caught the wink he had just done, no one seemed to have seen it. A feeling of relief mixed with a small flutter of butterflies in her stomach. A wave of heat washed over her body, her palms started to sweat a little. Was he flirting with her?

They managed to film the rest of the scene without any more mishaps, Nik didn’t pull anymore pranks thankfully. Nik however did catch Gwen staring at him, in between a take Gwen was sat down while he spoke to Kit. Maybe she didn’t realise she was staring because when Nik and Kit’s conversation was finished with he looked around and caught her eye and she quickly looked down and pulled out her phone. That feeling returned from earlier, the warm feeling spreading though his chest. Why was she looking at him? Why did she look away so fast?

 

 

*************************************

 

 

It came to the end of the filming that day, it was a heavy dialogue day for both Nik and Gwen, their reunion at Winterfell being the centre story of the episode so most of the other actors had already left for the day. Liam and Sophie still behind but they both decided to just go straight to bed where as Nik and Gwen were still pumped from the adrenaline of their scenes together.

‘’You hungry? Fancy getting some food?’’ Gwen asked Nik as he approached her from his trailer.

‘’More than you can imagine, I’m starving!’’ Nik replied. They both started walking towards the car that was waiting for them. Sliding into the seats beside each other, Gwen let out a heavy sigh, her head back against the rest as her neck stretched long and slender. Nik couldn’t help but glance to his left and look but he quickly looked away, not wanting to be caught like Gwen did earlier.

‘I’m feeling pizza? We can order it to the hotel and eat it in my room because I desperately need a shower. That okay with you?’’ Gwen asked after a moment of silence. Nik just nodded and hummed, trying helplessly to not imagine Gwen in the shower, 

At the hotel, they both entered Gwen’s room, Gwen closing the door behind her with a sigh. She waved her hand in the general direction of the room. ‘’Make yourself at home, put the tv on, whatever you want. I’m going to be in and out and then take a shower’’

Nik sat on the edge of the bed and turned on the tv and started flicking through the channels, as it was 11pm there wasn’t much on so he turned on Sky News. Although watching the news was depressing with all the political problems around the world but he had a chance to catch up on the football that he had missed while he’s been in Dublin.

As she said, Gwen zipped in and out of the bathroom collecting things she needed and to take off her shoes and jacket closer to the time of her shower. She returned to the bathroom for the last time and calling to Nik through the wall that separated them as he heard the shower turn on. ‘’Nik, I’m going in the shower now, can you order the pizza please? I don’t mind what you order’’

Nik was part way through the order when Gwen’s phone started vibrating on the table so he learned forward and walked towards the bathroom to tell Gwen. What he saw made him stop in his tracks and took his breath away. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing, he knows he should look away but he just couldn’t move from the display in front of him.

Gwen had forgot to close the bathroom door so Nik could see Gwen in the shower that was opposite the mirror in the reflection. There she was, stood all glorious and naked, letting the water flow down the length of her body. Her milky pale skin glimmered in the light under the running water, he could see little droplets sliding off the blushed pink peaks of her nipples.

He must have been staring at her for a good 5 minutes because she had started to wash her body, rubbing the suds over her skin, turning in the process so her back was too him, her toned bum now on show before she rubbed her cheeks coating the skin. What made him finally made him look away was when she bent over to wash her legs, his eyes closing as soon as her skin colour changed, the delicate parts of Gwen that he most definitely should not have seen.

Nik had to leave, Gwen could not see the tent that had developed in his pants. He felt sick with guilt, she was his friend, he should not have looked, he should have turned away as soon as he saw the door open. Along with the guilt, the arousal he felt was over powering, his palms becoming sweaty as he itched to touch himself.

Dropping Gwen’s phone on the table, he headed for the door as quickly as possible. Shouting as he passed the bathroom. ‘’Gwen, I’ve forgot my wallet so I’m going to get it. Phone me when you’re done’’

Gwen just heard him over the stream of the shower but she saw him pass the door in the reflection of the mirror that she had just realised that she’d left open. She shouted after him but he was already gone by the time her voice sounded in the room, the door slamming behind him.

 

 

********************************************

 

 

 

Practically running, Nik eventually made it to his room, locking the door behind him as he threw himself backwards onto the sofa, lounging back as his head rolled on the backrest. How could he be so stupid, the waves of guilt washing over him again but the images were flashing in his brain. He had not felt arousal like this in a while, his sexual relationship with his wife ending long before his divorce. He forgot what it felt like to lust over someone, the feeling in his gut making him feel like a teenager.

He felt even more childish as he took himself into his hand, a hard yet smooth pillar against his palm as his fingers wrapped around it. He could feel the blood pumping through his veins beneath his grip, the rhythm erratic as his heart matched it.

Slow yet firm strokes to start with, the guilt disappearing gradually with every stroke as he releases a sigh from his tight chest. There she was again, in the front of his mind, re-living the scenes of her showering but this time without the boundaries and restrictions of view. She was in front of him, as if he was in the shower with her, witnessing the mouth-watering sight of her nakedness.

 

*

 

Gwen had finished her shower, she dried and dressed herself. Picking up her phone as she reached the table and clicked Nikolaj’s contact, the dial tone rang a few times before she heard a ringtone somewhere around her. Finally locating the sound, Nik’s phone in his jacket that was laid on the bed. ‘’Dammit’’ she spoke out loud. She gathered her things and picked up her bag as she left the room and headed towards Nik’s.

 

*

 

His hand started to speed up as Gwen’s movements started to wander. His imagination starting to create a scenario that he had not witnessed but he wouldn’t dream of stopping. Her hands went from being tangled in her hair, lowering slightly to cup her own breasts, her fingers stopping to play with her nipples ensuring their full hardness. Lowering again, her hands moving fluid like the water running down her body, her fingers combing through the small collection of hair that covers the area before delving below, her fingers disappearing as she started pleasuring herself in front of him.

Nik’s eyes were not still on her body for a second, her body so clear in his vision, his imagination obviously a lot wilder than he had ever realised. He could feel it starting, the tingling rushing through his body, sweat starting to bead on his skin, chasing the rush that he had created.

 

*

 

The elevator dinged, Gwen walked out onto the floor that Nik was placed on, his room was in sight as she started to walk towards it. Her mind was busy thinking the whole journey, why had he been in such a rush? It was only his wallet, she knew she could have got the money off him another time.

30, 31, 32, she counted, almost there. 33, 34, 35, one more. 36, finally, Nik’s room. Her hand was just about to touch the wood of the door as she heard it. The noise made her dizzy, a little light headed.

‘’Ahhh fu- Gwen!’’ she heard Nik groan though the door.  Her hand came up to her mouth to stop the gasp leaving her mouth. She could hear anther string of moans and harsh breaths from Nik as he went through his orgasm. Her stomach flipped, her mind racing again about Nik and his actions. Why was he thinking of her? What exactly was he thinking about her? He obviously liked it… and so did she, a little bit. It sparked something inside her, a warmth spreading below making her close her thighs together.

They had both thought of each other, both had each other on their minds in the midst of pleasure, the most sensual and intimate time.

 

*

 

Nik had cleaned himself up, splashing water onto his face to make sure the flushed complexion had gone. He opened the door to Gwen stood there, the dazed look on her face swapped with shock when he realised he was in front of her. Nik himself was a bit withdrawn after what he had just done, the guilt building again as the knowledge that Gwen was not his to think about started to sink in.

‘’You, uh, forgot you, uh, phone so I couldn’t phone you’’ Gwen said with a forced chuckle, thrusting his phone and jacket at his chest. She could feel herself getting more awkward as the seconds past, the memory of his moans repeating in her head. How was he able to stand there and face her after what he’d just done? She wouldn’t be able to last the rest of the right without slipping up, she had to get out of it.

‘’Actually, I, uh, don’t feel to good. I think I’m going to give the pizza a miss tonight. Another time though?’’

Nik just looked at her confused but slowly nodded, ‘’Oh… okay then, yeah, another time’’ a disappointed smile on his face. He watched Gwen as she started walking away, waving to her again before she got into the elevator. He closed the door behind himself and sprawled out on his bed, his hands ran over his face, a harsh exhale leaving his lungs.

 

*

 

Gwen changed into her night dress as soon as she returned to her room, crawling into bed, the emotional rollercoaster of the day eventually crashing down on her, yawns wrecking her body. Unlocking her phone, she opened her messages to Nik, wanting to ask him about what she heard now that she wasn’t face to face with him and tell him how it made her feel… but she ended up chickening out and just typed up another apology about the pizza.

 **Gwen:** Sorry again about the pizza, I’m free tomorrow after filming if you are? I hope filming won’t be as tiring as it was today! Good night Nik, see you in the morning xxx

She didn’t wait for a reply, silencing her phone and turning out the light, she fell to sleep as soon as her head hit the pillow, Nik plaguing her dreams but she wasn’t complaining at all.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this fic. As always, comments and critiques are welcome!
> 
> Love, Sarah x  
> -  
> tumblr: sarahoftarth.tumblr.com  
> twitter: twitter.com/sarahoftarthh


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, thanks for clicking on my fic.  
> Hope you're all having a lovely Monday and enjoy this chapter!
> 
> p.s - The italics in this chapter are Gwen reading out loud.

* * *

 

 

There was a weird atmosphere on set this morning. Nik didn’t manage to sleep much last night, the guilt consuming him enough that he just couldn’t settle. He pushed on though, wanting to keep their professional relationship intact, not wanting Gwen to notice any change in his attitude. But of course, she did, as soon as he seen her his cheeks flushed, his mouth went dry and most importantly he started fumbling his words during filming and missing movements.

That day was action-packed, Jaime had settled into Winterfell, he had sorted the tension between Daenerys and the Starks, in particular Bran. His character arc coming full circle, now helping the family that he has been against throughout the show.

They had prepared for this scene, the choreography finely tuned to suit their characters abilities as Brienne tries to train Jaime to prepare for the upcoming war. They had practised, many _many_ times with both the choreographer and together outside of preparations so they should know the routine like the back of their hands. The more Nik continued to forget the movements throughout the filming, the more Gwen was getting annoyed.

‘’Down and to the left Nik, come on! We’ve just been through this.’’ Gwen groaned after Nik went right instead of left. Nik sighed defeatedly, ‘’Okay okay, let me do it again’’

A few more wrong moves and Nik accidentally kicked Gwen in the leg which sent her flying backwards into a heap on the floor. ‘’What the fuck Nik?’’ Gwen shouted, she attempted to get up but the way she landed, her leg took the brunt of the damage. ‘’What is a matter with today?’’ She asked, struggling to stand. Nik rushed over to help her.

‘’Gwen, I’m so sorry, I’m so off today I don’t know why. I’m really sorry’’ Nik reached for her to help her up but she batted his hand away.

‘’Can we take a break? I think I’ve hurt my leg’’ Gwen spoke to the camera man who signalled for a medic to help Gwen up. Nik just watched as Gwen limped away with a hurt look on her face, not speaking to him again for the rest of the filming day. The rest of the crew moved everything up on the schedule as Gwen wasn’t able to perform her routine so they postponed it for another day.

Nik kept his eye on the door all day, always watching to see if Gwen was coming back but she never did. He tried to ask the medic or a member of their crew if she was okay but he was never free enough to get a full answer. The guilt was taking over him, building up inside, he didn’t mean to hurt her, he was just distracted by his thoughts… of her.

What if he had hurt her, if her leg was broken would she have to stop filming? What about the story line? What about Jaime and Brienne?! He had to calm down, his breathing was so erratic, his chest was riding and falling too fast for it to be natural.  He had to find her, what if she had gone home? He needed to find his phone.

On the way to his trailer Nik bumped into Alfie, they stood and chatted before Nik had to ask if Alfie had seen Gwen. He hoped he didn’t seem as desperate as he actually was.

‘’Yeah I helped her into a car after her scene, I’m assuming back to the hotel because she was still limping’’ Alfie said. Nik nodded understanding his words and pressed for more information.

‘’Was she, uh, was she okay? Did she damage her leg?’’ Nik asked apprehensively, not wanting to hear a negative answer but knew it was coming.

Alfie shook his head. ‘’No but medics told her to take the rest of the day off’’

Nik wanted to scream, cry, just anything to get rid of the relief he was feeling inside. But he just nodded again, thanked him and tapped his arm as he ran off towards the car that was waiting for him outside.

After getting in the car, Nik gave the driver directions to go to, at first the driver was a little confused but understood after Nik told him that it was a Pizza shop. It didn’t take him long, he phoned the shop in the car on the way so that it would be available to collect when he got there. Nik checked twitter on the way back to the hotel, he looked at Gwen’s profile and seen that she had tweeted 10 minutes ago, so he know that she was still awake. It was getting a little late now so he hoped she wasn’t asleep by the time he arrived back at the hotel. He liked the tweet in good faith, hoping that she wouldn’t be as mad with him after spending the day apart from him.

His heart rate had started to increase again, the nerves making his throat thick and start to close up a little. The pizza was still hot in his hand, not piping hot like when he bought it but hot enough that they could just dig into it when, hopefully, she let him in.

He knocked and waited, he could hear her music playing in her room and faintly hear her singing along in the background. The action somehow made Nik’s heart flutter, a small smile on his face as he could imagine her singing and dancing awkwardly around her room to her favourite songs.  As soon as she opened the door her whole demeanour changed, the happiness draining from her face.

‘’Before you say anything, I just want to apologise for my behaviour today. I don’t know what came over me, I was so distracted, I couldn’t focus’’ Nik explained, Gwen didn’t seem fazed as she didn’t react, so Nik continued.

‘’How is your leg? I hope I didn’t hurt you, what did the medic say? Can you continue filming? What’s happeni-‘’ Nik was cut off by Gwen mid-sentence, her face showing that she was annoyed by his rambling.

‘’Nik, just stop!’’ Gwen snapped, a sigh of relief when he finally shut up. ‘’I’m fine, the medic said nothing was broken, just bruising and swelling’’ She lifted up her dress to show the bruises starting to form from the top of her thigh. He was a little distracted by 1) the very long exposed leg that took him by surprise and 2) the black lacy underwear that Gwen was wearing as she pulled her dress up too far. Switching his attention from imagining Gwen in sexy lacy underwear as quick as possible – now wasn’t the time Nik – to the bruises on her leg. Nik started to apologise again but Gwen wasn’t listening, she was looking at the pizza box. ‘’Is that a, uh, pizza?’’ Gwen asked not realising she’d interrupted him.

Nik laughed and nodded. ‘’it’s a peace offering, I hoped it would soften you up to see how sorry I am and to remind you of how you can’t stay mad at me forever’’ Nik’s grin was huge, he knew she couldn’t turn him down.

Gwen rolled her eyes and Nik cheered inside, he had worn she down. ‘’I suppose so but watch it, you’re on thin ice!’’ She pointed her finger accusingly but opened the door wider to let him in.

 

 

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They were both sat on either side of her king size bed, the pizza box between them as they both ate a slice. It seemed as though things were back to normal, Nik was making her laugh and she was as insulting as always.

‘’Did you have time to look at them links I sent you the other day?’’ Gwen asked. Nik looked confused until he remembered what she was talking about. The Jaime and Brienne fanfiction, Gwen said that it was helping her understand the romance between their characters but also gather inspiration on their physical relationship.

‘’I completely forgot, have you found any more?’’ Nik asked.

‘’I was looking today, you know when I couldn’t walk because some idiot disabled me’’ Gwen rolled her eyes and tutted. Nik elbowed her in her side with a smirk. ‘’I actually found something interesting but I didn’t want to read into it but I think I will now that you’re here’’ Gwen unlocked her phone while she spoke. Loading up ao3, she opened her bookmarked fic’s and scrolled until she found a fic called ‘’Off-screen love’’.

‘’It’s a Gwendolaj fic’’ Gwen pointed out, Nik looked confused again until Gwen explained. ‘’It means Gwen and Nikolaj, real person fiction, basically they ship me and you together and they’re writing about us’’ Nik straightened up, his body went stiff as the explanation sinking into his brain. Although he was slightly uncomfortable, he was a little intrigued, he wanted to know what happened so he nodded his head.

‘’There’s not a lot of Gwendolaj fic’s out there but the ones that have been written are quite long and very diverse. Most are about us now in filming this season, some are about us in the future, some even about us having children together!’’ Gwen awkwardly laughed, she looked Nik in the eye and seen that he was just as uncomfortable as she was. ‘’You know maybe I’ll just show you some Braime stuff instead, Gwendolaj might be a bit too weird for now’’

‘’Yeah, I think the Braime fic’s are okay for now’’ Nik replied back but making a mental note to check out ‘Off-screen love’ later. Gwen agreed and searched for a good one to show Nik. She found a fic that had recently updated but she hadn’t had chance to read yet.

‘’So, this is a season 8 fic, I’m quite far into it and they’re just about to go and fight together against the Night King with the rest of Winterfell. I haven’t read this chapter yet so I’ll read it aloud for you to hear’’ Gwen told Nik as she took a drink and coughed to wet and clear her throat.

Nik gave his full attention to Gwen as she started talking, reading the fic the such passion like it was a script, Nik was struck by the talent that she held just from reading a fanfiction. The chapter Gwen read through told about the preparations that Winterfell was taking as the White Walkers got closer and closer with each minute. The tension within the writing was brought through Gwen as her pace of reading sped up as she got more gripped to the story herself. So far in the chapter Jaime and Brienne had not been able to be alone, as it was the last night before the War the eye contact between the 2 was deep and longing as usual. As the night grew darker, Jaime visited Brienne’s room when no one was around.

_‘’Jaime, what are you doing here?’’ Brienne asked, she was surprised by his visit so late._

_‘’I needed to speak to you alone’’ Jaime replied. ‘’This may be the last chance I get to say this as we may not live another day after tomorrow’’_

_Brienne looked down, take back by the truth and sadness in Jaime’s words. She opened the door and let him in._

Gwen stopped reading and looked at Nik who was looking directly at her, he seemed as gripped as she was. ‘’I wonder what’s going to happen! Do you like it so far?’’ Gwen said excitedly. Nik nodded at her question so she carried on reading.

_Jaime went a stood by the fire, Gwen joined him after she closed and locked the door. They both stood there and wait for Jaime to start talking but he couldn’t get the words out. He couldn’t die without letting Brienne know about the emotions that he was feeling inside for her. He loved her and he needed to tell her._

Gwen turned to her side to look at Nik again. ‘’Aw how cute is that?’’ Gwen said as she held a hand to her heart.

_‘’Brienne, there is something you should know, about me, for a while now I have had this feeling and I feel this is the right time to tell you. I could be wrong but I think the feeling is mutual-’’ Jaime was interrupted by Brienne’s lips against his._

‘’Oh my god!’’ Gwen shouted, turning to Nik whose eyes were wide, feeling the same shock and excited as her.

‘’Carry on, quick!’’ Nik tapped her arm, forgetting the awkwardness from before.

_Jaime didn’t pull back from the kiss but pushed forward, pressing his lips against Brienne’s. The stayed connected for a few seconds until they naturally pulled apart._

_‘’So, the feeling is mutual?’’ Jaime asked smugly. All Brienne could do was blush, her whole face turning bright red as she again looked at the floor, she couldn’t face him._

_‘’Brienne, please look at me’’ Jaime spoke as he reached out and brought his hand under her chin to lift her face. When their eyes met, he could see the fear in hers, he knew this was all very new to her._

_Jaime leaned forward this time and initiated the kiss. Wanting to calm her down, letting her know that he understood her fear. So, he reached out his arm, snaking it around her torso and brought their bodies together, resting his golden hand at the base of her spine. His other hand went to her cheek, very gently cupping her face, he could feel it warm under his palm._

_The kiss ended but Jaime kept his hand on her face, Brienne smiled at the affection that he was showing her. It made her heart pound, Jaime could probably feel it as they were so close, their bodies pressed together._

Nik could feel a warm sensation in his chest as he imagined that Jaime and Brienne were the 2 of them acting it out. Thinking of how it would feel to have Gwen so close to him, to have his arm wrapped around her, to kiss her lips.

_‘’I love you, Sir Jaime’’ Brienne didn’t know where the courage came from to admit her feelings but she wanted the ground to swallow her up as she could see Jaime processing what she said._

Gwen gasped, she couldn’t believe was she was reading.

_Jaime surprised Brienne and confessed his own feelings. ‘’I love you too, Lady Brienne’’_

Gwen gasped again, kicking her legs a little. Nik beside her was smiling, Gwen’s actions making him chuckle but he felt the same way.

_The pull together was undeniable, the force of their kisses from now on was intense. Jaime moved his hand around the back of her head and raked his fingers through Brienne’s hair. The movement made her shiver, sending chills through her body._

_Throughout the process of their kisses, they had travelled the short distance to her bed. They knew what was coming, Brienne’s eyes widened, the fear returned. ‘’Jaime’’ Was all Brienne said but he knew, Jaime had always known she was a maiden._

_Jaime took her by the hand, brought it up to his face and kissed it. As it was late at night, neither of them had their armour on. Letting go of her hand, Jaime lifting his own to start to undo his shirt, pulling at the laces at the front. It slowly opened, Brienne watched as the material gradually opened and revealed his slightly scared chest, the golden hairs hiding them slightly until he shrugged it off his shoulders and it fell to the floor leaving him topless._

Gwen was reading a bit faster now; the excitement was high between the 2 of them. Nik hand his hand over his mouth as he listened to all the details in the fic, he listened to Gwen read about how Jaime and Brienne undressed each other, his mind yet again wandering but he was brought back by Gwen gripping his other hand. His body yet again went rigid, he didn’t know what to do. Should he move his hand away? Should he hold it back? Should he do nothing?

Gwen made that decision for him as she squeezed it, in the process their hands slid together. She was still reading but he wasn’t listening, his attention was on their hands, had she not noticed? Could he feel it start to get sweaty from his panicking? He hoped not. Gwen was still reading so he focused back on her, her eyes were glued to her phone, she was hypnotising to watch, the rise and fall of her chest when she took as deep of a breath as possible so that she could read for a long as she could.

_He laid her down and crawled between her open legs, her naked body beneath him, laid out for him to take. Jaime felt his cock swell, the anticipation making his dizzy._

_‘‘Jaime, I’m scared’’ Brienne confessed quickly, wanting to stop everything, her nerves getting the better of her._

_‘’Do you want to stop?’’ Jaime asked concerned. Brienne took a few breaths and shook her head. ‘’No’’_

_Jaime leaned over her, until their chests were pressed together, their faces were millimetres apart, Jaime could feel the heat from her legs as he started to ease himself inside her. A slow slide to let her get familiar will the feeling of him inside her._

He couldn’t take it anymore, he had to stop her, it was getting a bit too much for him. ‘’Gwen, I think you should stop’’ Nik could feel himself getting embarrassed, he knew it was only fictional writing but his mind and his crotch had other ideas.

A slight blush started to cover Gwen’s face as she realised what she was just reading to him, realising that this is what they will have to do in the next few weeks. ‘’Oh god Nik, I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable’’ Gwen apologised, her heart sunk in her chest.

Nik just squeezed her hand, showing her that it’s okay. Gwen’s eyes flew to the joining of their hands, she must have not realised. There’s that feeling of guilt again, he felt sick, he knew from her face that she regretted it. But she did something that surprised him… she squeezed it back!

They both looked at each other, a smile growing on both of their faces, maybe she didn’t regret it? He didn’t have chance to ask her as her phone started to ring, she picked it up and Nik saw that it was Gwen’s partner. ‘’I’m just going to-‘’ Gwen motioned that she was going to the bathroom to answer the call. She smiled and squeezed his hand one more time before letting go. Leaving his hand open and limp on the bed as he watched her walk away from him, wishing her hand was still in his.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this fic. As always, comments and critiques are welcome!
> 
> Love, Sarah x  
> -  
> tumblr: sarahoftarth.tumblr.com  
> twitter: twitter.com/sarahoftarthh


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, thanks for clicking on my fic.  
> Hope you're all having a lovely Saturday and enjoy this chapter!

* * *

 

 

Nik could hear the telephone conversation through the wall, Gwen had gone into the bathroom to answer the phone leaving him sat on the bed. He had moved to the edge of the bed readying himself to leave, he felt awkward staying as Gwen would probably want to be alone. She had mentioned a few weeks ago that they were having trouble but he assumed that they had fixed it but from the muffled shouting from Gwen showed that the issues were still there.

The arguing got louder the closer he got to the bathroom, he knocked on the bathroom door as lightly as he could. Her voice seized straight away as the door opened, Nik could see that her eyes were red from tears. He signalled with his hand that he was leaving but Gwen didn’t want him to leave so she grabbed his wrist and held it so he couldn’t leave. ‘’Please don’t leave’’ She practically begged.

Gwen’s partner must have heard her speaking to someone because from down the phone Nik heard a muffled shouting of ‘’ _who’s there? Who are you talking too? Is that Nik?’’_ Nik immediately took offence, why was he talking about him? Had he done something wrong or something to upset him? Gwen saw the confused and hurt look on his face and returned to the call. ‘’Yes, it is Nik, I have to go okay? I’ll call you tomorrow, hopefully you’ll have calmed down by then!’’ and she ended the call. Nik stayed silent, giving her time to calm down, he watched her as she took deep breaths.

‘’I’m sorry you had to hear that, we’ve been going through some stuff lately. He’s always hearing about how much time I’ve been spending with you and what we’ve been doing’’ Gwen shrugged. ‘’There’s no point in sugar-coating it, he’s just jealous’’

Nik didn’t know what to say, he felt sorry for Gwen having to deal with that from her boyfriend but they were spending a lot of time together, on set and off set – plus he was currently sat on her bed. ‘’Maybe he’s right? We are together all the time’’ Nik asked. Gwen’s head span around way too fast that humanly possible. ‘’I think I should go, I’ve already caused enough trouble’’. Nik got up to leave but Gwen stood in front of him, moving side to side to block his movement.

‘’Don’t you dare!’’ Gwen shouted, her voice breaking towards the end, the emotion thick in her throat as her eyes started to water. ‘’Please, don’t go Nik’’ And then suddenly she was bawling, her hands coming up to hide her face and the tears rolled down her face. Nik immediately wrapped his arms around her, pulling her to his body as her body moulded against his. He could feel her body shake as she got her emotions out, wetting his shirt but he rubbed her back all the same. ‘’I’m not going anywhere’’ Nik spoke softly into her ear, trying to calm her.

Nik held her for as long as she needed, he wished he could take away her pain, to solve the arguments between her boyfriend but it seems that he was the problem. He wanted Gwen to be happy, he really did but that would mean seeing less of her…could he really do that? Truthfully the answer was no and the thought of spending less time with Gwen was depressing enough never mind actually doing it.

‘’I think we should get you a drink, yeah? Clear your head a little bit?’’ Nik asked, needing to clear the atmosphere that had been created. ‘’If you don’t fancy going down stairs we can just order room service. Sound good?’’

He felt Gwen nod against his shoulder, he rubbed her back one more time and she lifted herself from him, her face now dry and her eyes were all cried out. As Gwen reached for the room phone, Nik spoke while he moved her bed to the side of the room and moved the table to the centre. ‘’Ask them to send up some Vodka and some shot glasses. We’re going to have some _fun_!’’ Nik winked as he said this, a little thrill went through Gwen’s body, flirty Nik always cheered her up.

 

 

************************

 

 

The alcohol arrived promptly and was already flowing. Nik’s aim was help Gwen have as much fun as possible, to help her unwind and cheer her up from the argument with her boyfriend. He intended to do this with a drinking game. The first game that they played was Flip Cup, Gwen’s hand eye co-ordination shined in the first few rounds, allowing her to ace Nik leaving his still trying to flip his 2nd cup with frustration. 

The sound of Gwen’s laugh when she knew that she won was music to Nik’s ear, the joy in her laugh filled the room, it’s a contagious laugh so much that it dissolved Nik’s anger away leaving him smiling at her silly victory dance around the room. A warm feeling filled his chest spreading gradually over his body, it was as if he thrived to make her happy. The pair got gradually drunker the more shots they took, each round had 5 shots and they were about to start their 5th round. With the alcoholic confidence, Nik felt lucky going into this round. He gulped the drinks as fast as he could and tried to pass by the cringe from the burn in his throat as they went down. It was harder as the drinks went on but his flips never missed a single one, with each flip his shouting got louder. It started with a small Yes and by the 4th flip is was a loud YEAH, Gwen was getting distracted by his mini victories and her flips were missing, now she was the one who was distracted.

He won, he finally won a game. He spun around and fisted the air. ‘’I did it!’’. All Gwen could do was sit and watch as he paraded back and forth, the small victory clearly important to him so she couldn’t be too mad at him. Instead of being a grouch, she joined him in celebrating, dancing around the door.

When they both got tired and needed a drink, they sat back down at the table. The grins on their faces were huge, the sadness in Gwen had clearly been forgotten as the alcohol sloshed it away. Nik grabbed the remote and switched on the media centre and searched for a radio channel that would have dance music, it took a while because he was half drunk and couldn’t read the information banner at the bottom of the screen properly. As soon as Gwen heard the song that was currently playing she, most importantly downed her drink first and then jumped to her feet and started dancing again.

Nik sat there, his foot was tapping to the beat as he watched her. Watching Gwen is always amazing, she loses herself in any performance that she does especially when she plays Brienne but Nik has never seen her this deeply lost in something as she is when she is dancing. It was as if she was the music, it might have been the alcohol on his brain but the way she was moving, she was so fluid. The delicate sway of her hips but then a sudden jut out to the side, the arch of her back, her hands trailing up and down her torso as she flowed through the beat. Nik couldn’t stop staring, tranced by her, he tried to swallow but his throat was dry and thick from his jaw being slack in awe of Gwen.

Turning away to down another drink, he needed many more to be able to get through the night if she was going to moving like that in front of him. Turning back for a just a second Nik watched as Gwen was combing her hands through her hair, the short strands of blonde hair falling through her fingers. Gwen’s was the one with the slack jaw now, her eyes scrunched closed, her marvellous long neck was stretched back. She looked like she was orgasming, so lost in the rhythm of the music that she forgot about her surroundings and audience.  Nik had to bite his tongue to stop the groan that was brewing in his chest, willing the sudden rush of blood southwards to relocate back to his brain so that he could think rationally.

Nik had to cover his eyes, not trusting himself to keep his eyes off her. ‘’I need another drink’’ He muttered to himself.

‘’Pour me one too please’’ Gwen sighed as she plonked down on the chair opposite him. When she reached over and stole one of Nik’s he saw her face blushed red from the exercise, little beads of sweat forming on her forehead and her hair wild from her dancing. Closing his eyes again, Nik took a deep breath and thought to himself _‘’She’s just been dancing, you watched her, that’s definitely not what she’d look like after sex…’’_

The drinks were poured and never stopped pouring the rest of the night, they phoned the reception down stairs and ordered more alcohol to be sent up as they had no intentions of stopping, they both had a day off tomorrow so they may as well keep going.

 

 

*********************************

 

 

The atmosphere mellowed down after her burst of emotion through movement as Gwen called it, it turned into a heart to heart conversation. _Loose Lips Sink Ships_ as the saying goes, the both of them sharing things that maybe they shouldn’t but they were both too drunk to stop themselves. They have always been close friends, ever since season 2 of the show and even closer when their characters became involved together but a conversation that has never came up between them is relationships.  There was the obvious small passing conversation when one of them was feeling down but never in depth as is it was tonight. They were both out of their comfort zones but with them both needing to vent it was a good time as ever to let go. They  decided to bring a little bit of fun to the conversation, they both had to take a shot after every confession.

‘’Is he really jealous of me?’’ Nik asked, not that knowing would fix anything because they still had to work together for next few months.

Gwen sat and thought about the answer before replying, she knew the answer was yes because yes of course he was jealous of Nik, who wouldn’t be but he had reasons. Gwen was spending more time with Nik than she was talking to her partner, obviously on-set they can’t help it but off-set they just seem end up together in whatever they do. It’s a hard argument to fight because all of the evidence was there, she just had to tell him to trust her but lately her emotions haven’t been that trustworthy.

‘’Yes, he is but can you blame him? You’re an extremely attractive man Nik’’ Gwen blurted out, covering her mouth but laughed anyway shrugging her shoulders, it’s the truth so why lie.

Nik blushed at her compliment but then pointed to her glass, telling her to drink with a grin as he lifted his glass too. He knew what he looked like and the damage it can cause. He lifted up his shot glass, signalling a confession to warn Gwen ‘’The jealously subject was very frequent in my marriage, she never trusted me when I told her that nothing was going on’’. Both downing the liquid as soon as he was finished. Gwen nodded, taking in his words, she could understand his ex-wife’s view point but obviously the truth wasn’t there.

‘’She was, uh, cautious of you at one point actually’’ Nik said, downing another shot, going straight to his head.

Gwen choked on her drink, gasping, she couldn’t believe it. ‘’WHAT?! Why?!’’

‘’Same reasons as you, untrusting partner. She had a point, I mean you are the whole package Gwen. You’re kind, artistic, loving, beautiful, funny, loyal and those legs!’’ Nik groaned deeply, the vibrations rumbled in his chest.

Gwen blushed, hiding her face. ‘’Nik!!’ She shouted.

Nik shrugged and held out his hands. ‘’It’s the truth, you should have more confidence in yourself, you’d see how amazing you are’’

It was silent between them for a little bit, both sat in their own thoughts while nursing their drinks, Nik refilled them a few times.  They both had the same thought: _had they over stepped?_

Disregarding her thoughts completely, Gwen dove back in and asked the question she’s been dying to asked about Nik’s marriage. She was a little nervous about the answer but she needed to hear it, maybe for validation? Maybe because she was just nosey? Or maybe she needed to know for her own selfish reasons.

‘’Do you still love her?’’

The look that Gwen gave Nik made his heart melt but also increase rapidly, it was such a personal question. He poured out 2 drinks and drank them in sequence, needing a little more courage for this one.

‘’In a way, I do love her’’ Nik spoke, looking down and his drink, taking a pause to think. ‘’She is the mother of my daughters, I’ll always love her’’

Gwen suddenly felt a little sick, like someone had punched her in the stomach. She hoped there was a second part of this answer, her prayers were answered when he continued.

‘’But am I _in love_ with her? No. There was so much hatred and bitterness in our relationship that there was no longer room for love’’ Nik swallowed and looked up, Gwen’s eyes were filled with an emotion that he couldn’t read, sadness? Relief? Both? He couldn’t make it out so he just looked back into her eyes, offering her a small smile to indicate that he was okay.

Gwen reached across the table, placing her hand on top of his. The next words she spoke came out without a second thought. ‘’I love you’’

Nik thought he was hearing things, surely, she didn’t just say that. But she repeated it again, gripping onto his hand so he gripped back. ‘’I do, I love you’’ Did she mean it literally? Did she love Nik? Maybe, on some level she does. She needed him to know, a way in, an opening that one day might happen.

He nodded at her. ‘’Thank you Gwen, I love you too’’ He most definitely meant it, that gut feeling inside of him, the feeling of relief from uttering them 3 magic words he’s wanted to say for a while, longer than he’d realised. They stayed holding hands for a few minutes, adjusting to the release of information that they had just let go off.

‘’Wow that was deep... we need more drinks!’’ Nik broke the silence, reaching for the bottles of alcohol on the side. When he let go of her hand, she slowly clenched her fist and brought it to her chest, savouring the moment and locking it away in her mind. She may not remember it in the morning but for now it was enough to keep her going.

They continued to drink for the rest of the night, they drank until they forgot.

 

 

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The next morning Gwen woke suddenly, immediately raising her hand to her head, the room spinning when she opened her eyes. The other hand reached for her phone on the bedside table to check the time. Something felt weird, maybe it was just the hangover, but she was sure she could feel the weight of someone behind her. So, she turned over to inspect her hunch, only for her heart to drop.

Another punch in the gut, and other and another until the bile rose in her throat.

It was Nik in her bed.

She prayed and prayed for the worst not to have happened but she could feel that she was naked, the sheet of her bed brushing against her bare skin. As quietly as she could, Gwen whispered his name to wake him but not to alarm him. ‘’Nik, please wake up!’’

It took a few times but eventually his eyes half opened, his head pulling back when he realised he was in bed with Gwen. She looked worried, looking down at his bare chest, someone was wrong, why was she topless? She started speaking, his brain taking longer than it should to register her words. ‘’Nik please, please, _please_ tell me you have underwear on’’ Gwen practically begged but the look on Nik’s face told her everything as he reached down to discover he was also naked.

‘’What happened last night?’’ Nik asked, he was so confused.

All Gwen could do was look blankly at him, her eyes wide and her memories of last night wiped. ‘’I can’t remember’’

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this fic. As always, comments and critiques are welcome!
> 
> Love, Sarah x  
> -  
> tumblr: sarahoftarth.tumblr.com  
> twitter: twitter.com/sarahoftarthh


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, thanks for clicking on this chapter.  
> Hope you're all having a lovely Sunday!

* * *

 

‘’You need to leave, now!’’ Gwen shouted at Nik who was laid on his back, his hands covering his face. Gwen was hyperventilating, the panic was starting to take over. What had they done? What had SHE done?! All she knew was that she needed to calm down but first to put some clothes on and to get Nik out of her room.

‘’Gwen you need to calm down, we don’t even know if anything did happen, nothing probably happened’’ Nik replied, Gwen was confused at why he was so calm, why wasn’t he panicking like her? But then it dawned on her that he hadn’t just maybe cheated on his partner.

She felt Nik sit on the edge of the bed with his back to her, he took a few deep breaths trying to think, trying to remember the happenings of last night but for the life of him he couldn’t, too drunk to remember. He turned to look at Gwen behind him, she was sat against the headboard with the covers drawn up tight to her neck, her eyes red, filled with tears threatening to spill. He could tell that she was on the edge of exploding because he could feel the slight tremor of her body sending small vibrations through the mattress. He didn’t want to see her hurt but what more could he do? They were both irresponsible last night but they were also both adults, mistakes happen… if anything even did happen.

Nik found his clothes in a pile on the floor just beside the bed, Gwen’s right next to his, like they both got undressed right next to each other. He took in this observation but didn’t mention it to Gwen, hoping it’ll spark a memory later as he sobered up. He passed Gwen her clothes while he was there, she snatched them off him as if any contact was going to burn her, like he was diseased and she was scared to catch it. It hurt him, deep down, but he knows he deserves it.

‘’Thank you’’ Gwen said plainly, not hint of gratitude. ‘’But I think it’s time you left’’ she continued, not looking up from the ball of clothes from her hands.

Nik nodded, slowly walking towards the door as he picked up his belongings on the way. The awkwardness between them was painful, the atmosphere was so dense that he had to think every word through before speaking, not wanting to upset her more. ‘’Ill, uh, see you tomorrow then’’ Nik said as he reached the door, looking back one last time before he left. Her head still down, avoiding contact.

The guilt was building inside him, his stomach was churning as he walked to his room. With it being their day off, hopefully the day apart could help between them, the next few days were crucial for their characters. As he entered his room, he flung himself on his bed, not even bothering to undress, he wanted to curl up in a ball and never rise again.

 

*

 

Both of them unaware of their actions last night, unknowing of how close they got once the alcohol fully took over their brains. Both of their bodies drawn together as if they were magnets, just stood looking at each other, their chests flush. Their harsh excited breaths were clashing as their mouths were inches apart, coming out in jagged puffs as they got lost into each-other’s eyes. And then it happened, their lips met, hard and firm at first but it eventually softened as they relaxed into it. Now just gentle movements, brushes of lips and tender caresses of tongues as the kiss deepened.

Their hands started to wander, Gwen’s gripped his shoulders, her fingers curling over as her palm rubbed against his clavicle. Nik’s hands went to her hips, trying to pull her even closer, their bodies essentially becoming one from the power of his pull. Friction was created as their bodies started to rock together, Nik’s cock was straining against his pants and Gwen could feel it pulsating against her, sending waves of arousal through her veins. Between messy sloppy kisses sounded small moans of ‘’Nik’’ from Gwen that were like music to his ears, his drunk brain still recognising how much he’d long to hear it.

Their desperation for each other grew as their concentration was no longer on the kisses but the removal of clothes, needing to feel what was underneath. It was quick, Gwen would later find that her shirt was ripped as her drunken frustration built too much as Nik was already topless in front of her and reaching for his belt. The rush was heated, the excitement of what was to happen, they felt like children.

2 sets of clothes on the floor, side by side, as their owners stood naked above them. Gwen could feel herself growing wetter as she fidgeted on the spot, wanting to reach out and touch him, ready to go yet nervous. Nik was solid, growing harder as he took in the woman in front of him, his eyes trailed from her head to her toes. They were both strangely quiet, nothing was said between them except moans and gasps. Eye contact was constant, Gwen bit her lip and grinned, Nik was practically humming with excitement as he laid her down on the bed with a kiss. She pulled him down with her, his body slotting between her legs as the fell open, his chest against hers as she wrapped her arms around him.

They both moaned as Nik’s cock brushed against her folds, sliding on the wetness that had built, he could feel the heat from her core, he needed to be inside her and soon. Speaking between sloppy kisses Nik asked while chuckling ‘’We have to stop before I embarrass myself, have you got condoms?’’

Gwen just looked back at him, of course she hasn’t, why would she?!

At her silence they both burst out laughing. What the hell were they doing?! Nik rolled to her side, his deep chuckle sounded along with her loud honking laugh, their bodies shaking with drunken childish thoughts. It was a while before they stopped, their bodies lying still next to one another. Gwen turned so she was facing Nik and his bodies followed, looking at each other with a knowing smile. And that is where they stayed until they both fell into a deep sleep, the happenings of the night lost forever.

 

 

**************************

 

 

There had been no contact for the rest of the day, Nik left and they hadn’t seen or spoken to each other until the they were next filming together which was the day after next, thankfully somehow dodging each other as they were both filming separate scenes the next day. Even though they were actively avoiding each other, both of them were constantly checking their phones to see if the other had contacted them, silently praying that there was a message waiting for them when they took their break. The disappointment made their stomach sink when their screens were blank of messages.

Gwen was annoyed with herself, both at the fact that she couldn’t remember but also why did she want too? The more she tried to forget, the more Nik was on her mind. She tried and tried to convince herself that nothing happened, she wouldn’t do that to her boyfriend, she’s not that type of person… but what is she did? – it was a vicious cycle this for the next few days until she was able to speak to Nik again. If she thought the days were hard, the nights were worse, her thoughts before she slept were of Nik, making up situations in her head of what could have happened in that bed. Her dreams were filled with Nik, their naked bodies pressed together, his mouth against hers muffling the gruff moans vibrating in his chest. Her body reacted as any humans would, aching to be touched when she woke, the dreams seemed to be so real.

 

*

 

Their next meeting was on set, it was as awkward as they knew it would be. They both tried not to let it effect their performances but their bodies were stiff with anxiety, any time that they had to be near each other Gwen was reminded of the forgotten night, riddled with guilt. Nik wasn’t so bad, he had nothing to feel guilty about but he knew that it had affected their relationship, that was all he cared about.

It slowly started to annoy Nik, he could see it in her eyes that there was something bothering her but every time he would approach her she would turn and walk away, even in between takes when they were stood next to each other she tried her best to avoid him. This couldn’t carry on, they had the intimate scene to film today. Due to their none communication, the planned preparation for this scene had not happened. The director had told them what was planned, where the shots would be, what would be visible and for how long. It was mostly going to be Nik, but Gwen was going to have some solo shots.

Their feelings for each other would have to wait as they got back into character, the next few hours were crucial, they needed to ace this performance, it is the most anticipated scene with 6 years in the making. It was time, they were called to their spots, both told to undress in their side rooms and given a dressing gown to cover themselves with until they were ready. Gwen disrobed and moved to lay on the bed, slowly lowering herself to the mattress. Her anxiety spread through her body as she laid bare and exposed to Nik.

A look was shared between them, there was something within it as Nik started to blush at her nudity, naked again in front of each other. He wanted to look at her so much, to take in the wonderful stretch of body, wanting her to be laid out for him alone instead of the crew and cameras.

As soon as Nik disrobed, he could see the tension melt from her shoulders, her posture no longer hunched as if she was trying to hide herself. Them both being naked was as if they were equals again, it made it a little easier to progress with what was about to happen. She nodded once at him with a small smile, a sign of a truce, the tense atmosphere was suddenly lifted. He was able to approach her with more ease than when he first entered, his breathing calming with every step as he stood by the side of the bed where she was laid.

‘’Right so, we’re gunna take it slow okay? It’s Brienne’s first time so Jaime won’t want to hurt her’’ The director spoke, his eyes flitting between the pair. ‘’Just nice slow thrusts yeah? Gwen like we spoke before, a little discomfort in your face at first but ease into it as it goes’’

They both nodded and the director shouted ‘’Action’’. Nik crawled slowly onto the bed, moving closer to Gwen as her legs spread open as told, hovering over her as he lowered his head to kiss her. It was little pecks to begin with, the director wanted the scene to be sweet and loving instead of hot and raunchy, the two characters finally finding true love within each other.

He was touching her, his hand was gliding up her leg, smoothing over the skin as it got to her hip. She could the faint drag of his fingertips make their way north leaving goose bumps in their path until Nik wrapped his hand around her hip, encasing her cold skin with a warm grip. The heat spread through her body, especially her face, sending tingles through her fingers and blood to her nipples as they rubbed against the coarse hair on his chest becoming hard sensitive pillars.

A little moan escaped her lips, she tried to cover it up but everyone heard it, especially Nik. Even though he didn’t know if it was her own pleasure or she was in character, it sent a chill down his spine that went straight to his crotch. The warm sensation started to grow and so did he, he immediately started to blush, feeling his cock harden against her, her eyes snapping open when she felt it. The look on her face was a hint of mortified until she saw the look on his face, the regret and guilt in his eyes was too much to bear, he looked so sorry.

Nik thought to himself that he couldn’t carry on like this, if this was the effect she had on him after a small moan, he didn’t want her to experience what it would be like when they get into the full swing of the scene. Tilting his hips backwards so that it still looked like he was thrusting but he hasn’t rubbing against Gwen, just the air.

She was a little lost when she realised what had happened, suddenly the moans didn’t sound, her pleasure had been taken away. The fake moan that she made sounded dirty and cheap, it wasn’t real, Gwen hoped that they wouldn’t use that in the show. She needed the friction, needed to feel him warm and hard against her again. So, when he bent down to kiss her again she couldn’t stop herself from whispering desperately against his lips ‘’Please Nik’’.

His hips stopped moving in the confusion until he felt her hips arch upwards and brush against him, her eyes wide looking for any signal that he didn’t feel comfortable. The next thrust, his hips ground down even harder than before. The surprise moan from Gwen vibrated in her chest, her noises back to genuine as it echoed around the set. Their movements stared to get rougher, Gwen moved his hand to her breast. He cupped it as it fit into the palm of his hand and thumbing over the nipple, enjoying how fast it became hard again at his touch. Against his thrusts he could feel her wetness slightly soaking through the ‘invisible pants’ that they gave her, a blissful look on her face the more aroused she got. They would admit later that they got a little carried away, both of them genuinely disappointed when the directed shouted ‘’Cut!’’.

It felt like a punch to the gut for Nik when he saw the same look of regret return on Gwen’s face after they were done filming. The happiness was gone from her eyes as she stared at her hands on her lap as the director praised them. ‘’Excellent scene both of you, so convincing, gentle and loving exactly what we wanted’’ finishing with a smile, patting the both on the back as he walked away.

Gwen walked off without another word, pulling her gown ties around her securely, heading straight for her trailer. His was in that direct too so he followed her close behind, waiting until they were alone in the grounds to shout her. ‘’Gwen, wait!’’

When she never reacted, Nik started a small jog, approaching her slowly. Placing his hand on her shoulder to try and stop and spin her she dodged it, ducking and spinning herself. Her face was like fire, she was mad and upset, her eyebrows knitted together at the centre of her forehead as her nostrils flared. The bluntness of her voice hurt him, Nik didn’t understand what he had done. ‘’Leave me alone, Nik’’

The closer they got to her trailer, the fast she was walking to get there quicker, her long legs allowing her to move quicker with fewer steps compared to Nik’s shorter legs. ‘’Gwen, will you just stop! What’s going on with you?!’’ Nik asked, running around her to stop her in her tracks. She skidded to a halt from walking so fast, almost knocking into him, a disappointed sigh sounding as she took a few steps back, her eyes growing more serious.

Gwen looked everywhere but Nik’s eyes, thinking to herself how she could get around what she was wanting to say, maybe even avoid it if it was possible but she knew she had to say it at some point so why not now. ‘’I can’t tell you out here’’ She grumbled and pulled him by the arm into her trailer. They were just stood there for a few minutes, letting the atmosphere settle, catching their breaths before Gwen spoke into the silence.

‘’About the other night-‘’ Gwen started to say but Nik interrupted her by scoffing and rolled his eyes.

‘’Are you still bothered about that? Gwen, we don’t know what happened and we probably never will, just let it go’’ Nik pointed out, the annoyance in his voice clear as day.

‘’I can’t!’’ Gwen shouted, her head snapping up angrily, her eyes rimmed red as the tears flooded. ‘’I can’t just let it go, it’s not that simple for me as it might be for you’’

Nik was getting confused, what was going on with her? He thought she’d want to forget about it, maybe the guilt was overtaking her. He straightened his back to a standing position, he wanted to leave, this conversation was going nowhere. ‘’Well you’re just going to have to try’’ Nik replied passively.

‘’Nik, please, I can’t, you don’t get it’’ Gwen’s emotion was thick in her voice, he could hear the tremble more now that she wasn’t shouting. Nik was getting annoyed at her, why was she being so awkward about it? Why couldn’t she just tell him and get it over with?

Nik’s reply was fiercer, his voice deep with the anger that was building inside. ‘’WHY NOT?!’’

‘’Because I wish I could remember what happened!’’ The words burst out of her mouth quicker than they both expected them too, her hands rushing to cover her mouth before she says something more. She gave a defeated sigh when she calmed down. ‘’Filming that scene just makes me want it to be real’’. All Nik could do was stand there and stare, his jaw slack from the shock that made him completely motionless.

Gwen searched his eyes for a sign, a look that pleaded for something – anything she could find that could indicate how he felt, when she come up short, she decided it would be the right thing to explain the outburst.

‘’I just-‘’ she started to say before taking a deep breath. ‘’I don’t know what’s going on with me, lately I’ve been having these feelings… about you. You’re all I can think about, before I sleep and when I wake up, you’re even in my dreams for god’s sake!’’ Gwen tried to add humour, adding a dry laugh to the end of the sentence as she wiped her tears away.

It must have worked because Nik’s face turned from stone to a shy smile, his cheeks turning a light shade of pink. He reached out and patted her hand before wrapping his around hers. ‘’I know Gwen, it’s okay’’ were the words out of his mouth but what he wanted to say was _‘’I feel the same way’’_ or something along the line that allowed him to express his feelings for her but that wouldn’t achieve anything, only add to a situation that needed to end.

‘’Look Gwen, we need to forget about this okay? We need to move past it, we’re adults and we can’t let it spoil our professional life but most importantly our friendship’’ Nik continued speaking, squeezing her hand for comfort. ‘’I love you and I can’t lose you, not after all this’’

The tears were rolling down Gwen’s cheek as she nodded, she fully understood what Nik was saying because it was logical, she didn’t want to lose him either. It was going to be hard but they must do what has to be done. So, she just said what her heart needed her to say. ‘’I love you too Nik’’

A love confession for a love that was not possible, seems silly right, that’s what they both thought, but you do whatever helps to deal with the reality that your love would go no further than words from you lips.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't been feeling myself lately, my chronic illnesses are playing up so this chapter took longer than expected to write. I'm not 100% happy with it, I feel It's a little rushed and there's not enough details in the important parts but I physically couldn't look at this chapter anymore.
> 
> I do hope you enjoyed this chapter though.  
> As always, comments and critiques are welcome!
> 
> Love, Sarah x  
> -  
> tumblr: sarahoftarth.tumblr.com  
> twitter: twitter.com/sarahoftarthh


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, thanks for clicking on this chapter.  
> It's almost 1:30am here in the UK, so I hope you all have/are having a great Thursday!

* * *

 

 

The next few days of filming were the most chaotic that Game of Thrones has ever had, the biggest fight with the largest cast. No one had the time to breathe, no time to think, just about time to eat but straight away it was back to filming again. It was a lot of fun though, Gwen was loving every second of it, she had trained the past 6 years for this, to give Brienne a chance to really show the audience what she’s made of. Fighting alongside the people that she’s come to love like family, especially Alfie, Emilia, Kit… and of course Nik. How could she forget?

She hadn’t forgot about him, quite the opposite actually. Ever since their love confession it has been amicable between them, a little awkward but that was to be expected. She couldn’t get it out of her head, he loved her and he was willing to just let it go for her. It’s all just bad timing really, if he had told her a year earlier she would have flung herself at him but the situation is different now. So, she put all her emotion into her work, it emphasised her movements, she moved more freely in the restrictive armour.

Granted, the 1st scene that she shot with Nik was weird but then every scene after that got easier and easier to handle. A new layer of their friendship had formed, even though she was distant from him, she felt somehow closer to him than she ever had. He still had an effect over her, for some reason every time they made eye contact she blushed beet-red like a teenager. It happened when it was even the littlest glance, it made her chest fill with warmth while a cold chill ran through her body.

After all that hard work came the final scene for the both of them. Jaime was laid injured in the snow when Brienne found him, blood oozing from his wound in his chest. ‘’Jaime!’’ Brienne shrieked, falling to her knee’s as tears ran down her cheeks, her arms wrapped around him as she started to panic. Her hands trembling as she tried to stop the bleeding, ripping her own undershirt to create a blockage for the blood.

Jaime laid still, groaning in agony, his breath heavy from the pain and the cold, his lips turning blue. Brienne was so distracted she didn’t hear Jaime calling her meekly, his voice was hoarse. ‘’Brienne, please, stop’’ he spoke.

Brienne’s eyes shot to his face as if he had insulted her, her mouth turning into a grimace as she tried harder, ignoring him. ‘’The bleeding will stop soon, just lay still’’ Her voice cracked, it was becoming hard to see, the tears were flowing from her eyes, little sobs sounded every time she inhaled.

He moved his hand to place it on top of hers, stilling her movements, clasping her hand in his warm with his blood. ‘’Brienne stop, it’s okay’’ Jaime choked, tears filling his eyes now too, knowing his end is coming.

‘’You can’t!’’ Brienne wailed. ‘’Not yet, please, we still have to fight’’ She gripped him tighter to her chest, both of them rocking gently.

Jaime squeezed her hand getting her attention. ‘’You have to do it, exactly as we planned, remember?’’ Brienne started to shake her head, she refused. ‘’I can’t die because of one of them Brienne, you have to be the one to kill me’’ Nik gave a brave smile.

Brienne understood what he was saying but she couldn’t accept it, she couldn’t kill Jaime, he was the only good thing in her life, she was finally happy and he wanted her to take it away. She continued to shake her head, denying what he was asking of her but his eyes were pleading. Jaime was in so much pain, his life was coming to an end and she was only prolonging it.

She reached for her dagger on her hip, her hand shaking unbelievably with nerves. She could her Jaime trying to calm her, telling her that ‘’it was going to be okay’’ and that he trusted her when really it should have been the other way around. She should be calming him, she was about to take his life.

Jaime’s grip was getting stronger with every minute, the pain was becoming unbearable. The cold seeping into his bones from his wet clothes on the frozen ground did help a little to numb any feeling he had but it wasn’t enough. ‘’Are you ready?’’ Jaime asked Brienne, wanting to prepare himself a little. Brienne gave the tiniest nod, holding the dagger with the softest of touches like it was fragile glass.

‘’Promise me you’ll carry on, whatever happens you have to keep fighting’’ Jaime rasped through Brienne’s sobs. ‘’I love you and I’ll always be with you’’ Reaching up to wipe away her tears as they streamed down her face. Brienne nuzzled her face into his palm and kissed it, taking a deep breath. She leaned down and held his face in her hand as their lips met for one last time, it was firm but passionate, their tears melted together as their faces touched. She rested her forehead against his, letting their noses brush as their eyes closed, remembering the kiss but also remembering their life together and how far they had come.

‘’I love you Jaime’’ Brienne wept as Jaime smiled at her. That’s all they needed, all they’ve ever wanted was to love and be loved back. They had finally found it in each other.

Jaime nodded, he was ready, he had the woman he loved with him and he had fought for something important. His feud with the Starks was over, bran forgave him. His life was complete, he could die a happy man. He closed his eyes as Brienne pressed her lips against his forehead and then he felt it, the dagger entered him in a swift solid movement. He could feel Brienne’s body start to tremble, her tears running from her face to his and off his chin. Everything around him was drifting, all that was constant was Brienne, her warmth against his body, her breath against his face as she mumbled ‘’I’m sorry’’, ‘’I love you’’ and ‘’we’ll be together again soon’’.

Brienne could feel Jaime’s grip on her arm loosening, it only made her clutch him tighter to her chest, rocking him softly. And then all of a sudden, his body was limp, his chest was still and his hand fell from her arm. He was dead, in her arms. She kissed his forehead for the last time and stared into the distance as 4 white walkers were heading her way, her face turning into a scowl.

They heard the director shout ‘’CUT’’. Applause rang around the set, the crew whooping and whistling as they both stood from their spots. Immediately they launched into each other’s arms, Nik’s arms wrapped around her so tightly that it hurt but she never stopped him. ‘’We did it!’’ Nik whispered in her ear. Gwen nodded back, ‘’we did it’’ she repeated, whispering more softly.

 

*******************************

 

Gwen had to film one more day after that, her personal fight with the 4 white walkers where Brienne would struggle but defeat them none the less. She would be reunited with Arya along the way, traveling and fighting together like their training sessions in Winterfell. Arya would tell her of what she saw, such as Daenerys being powerless without her dragons as everyone had predicted, Jon and Ghost had got lost in the fight so she was unsure of his whereabouts, Sansa tried to protect Bran as well as she could. Bran using his abilities took over her body, combining this with Arya’s training it clearly showed in her favour as she killed a few walkers but eventually she couldn’t hold them back. Everyone else was presumed dead.

The last scene Gwen shot was the flash forward future scene, it showed Brienne and Arya on Tarth, on their journey they found Sam, Gilly and little Sam. Somehow, they had survived and were hiding successfully, obviously Sam’s knowledge aided them. The 5 of them sailed to Tarth and found it destroyed yet deserted. Brienne remembered of the underground resources and money that her father had told only her about, hoping it would still be there and that he kept his promise – It was all there, luckily.

Every day they sent as many ravens as they could, letting people know of the little civilisation that they had created, hoping that the crows would find someone, anyone and let them know that they were welcome. It worked because people started arriving in the dock, slowly at first but soon there was enough to start rebuilding the island. One day, Arya heard a faint howling in the distance towards the dock. Her ears picked it up straight away and she sprinted as fast as she could until she saw the white wolf and the jet-black curly hair that could only belong to her brother.

Jon’s arrival solidified their group in a sense, there was a true leader among them. And that is how the new monarchy/government was formed, they all agreed that Jon would be the rightfully leader, creating a democratic leadership, where everyone was encouraged to be involved. Brienne, Arya and Sam becoming his council and the leaders of their training and education. Eventually they built a protective barrier around the island until they were ready to expand back onto the main island.

And that was how it ended, fading to black as it showed ships sailing back and forth between Tarth, eventually rebuilding the whole of Westeros to how it should have been under Jon’s rule.

 

*

 

It was an emotional day, the final ever shoot for the show. Gwen, Maisie, Kit, John and Hannah all stood hugging after the camera’s had stopped. Champagne was popped, confetti was thrown, tears were wiped and hugs were given. Throughout the chaos Gwen took a step back, taking a breather for herself, looking around at all of the happiness in front of her, letting her appreciate all that she has achieved in the show. Her eyes caught a familiar face in the crowd, her heart skipping a beat and as always as her face flushed. Nik was stood leaning against a post, a small grin on his face as he watched her. She found it infectious, her own mouth forming a grin back, that familiar warmth in her chest spread throughout her body under his watch, the slight sweat starting to slide down her spine.

Gwen looked shyly down at the ground before she exploded but when he looked back up, he was gone. She scanned the room but he was nowhere to be seen. Her phone vibrated, a text from Nik reading: ‘’See you at the bar later’’. She didn’t reply but the face eating grin on her face was enough for her to realise that she needed to calm down, they had just got back a comfortable level of friendship.

Gwen retreated from the celebration, making her way quietly to her room where she was able to take a small nap and ready herself for the cast gathering in the bar. She went for a casual and practical look of slim fitting trousers and a shirt, she wouldn’t be drinking a lot as she was tired.

 

 

*************************

 

 

When she arrived, a few people that were left were already there. Sophie, Maisie and Isaac were sat together at a little table, Kit, Emilia, John and Hannah were stood by the bar collecting their drinks, there was no sign of Nik yet. He was the last to arrive about 10 minutes after she did, also dressed casually in a tie-less suit.

The night went as most nights in that crowd does, full of alcohol and laughter. Gwen felt at home in their presence, she loved them all dearly and she was going to miss working with them. They all eventually ended up in a big circle as they pooled all the tables together. The drinks kept on coming, Gwen had drunk about 4 glasses so far, more than she had wanted too but she didn’t mind, she was enjoying herself - she could feel herself getting tipsy. Nik was close to her, she could feel his body heat from his seat next to her, becoming more aware of him the drunker she got. Maybe this should be her last glass.

Emilia was a little bit more drunk than everyone else it seemed as she thought it would be okay to ask Gwen a question loud enough that it disrupted everyone else’s conversation. Gwen knew that she meant no harm but she did turn bright red when everyone’s eyes were on them both. ‘’So how was, as the kids these days say, the bang that was promised?’’ Emilia asked, using finger quotes for emphasis, resting her chin on her fist, like she was settling down for long story.

Gwen immediately looked at Nik next to her, their eyes met and they both burst out laughing like children, the nerves getting the better of them. They soon calmed down and Gwen shrugged with a smile turning back to the table. ‘’It was fine no uh, I mean it was uh, Okay? Good?! I don’t know!’’ She looked both confused and embarrassed at Nik hoping he would save her from the hole she was digging for herself.

Nik just laughed, that deep chuckle as always, slipping his arm around her shoulder pulling her against his chest and kissing the crown of her head. ‘’What this idiot here means is… you’ll have to wait and find out for yourself when it airs!’’ Nik said with a laugh, making everyone else laugh with him, Kit clapped as John raised his glass.

‘’I can’t wait to see it’’ Emilia burst out, her confidence shining yet again. ‘’Nik, I don’t know how you didn’t lose it with this fine lady below you!’’ Emilia continued, winking at Nik and then at Gwen. Gwen gasped in response, getting embarrassed again, whereas Nik just nodded and laughed a little awkwardly – it’s as if they knew exactly what happened, are they that predictable?

It all got a little bit too much for Gwen, she felt overwhelmed by that question, the memories of that scene come rushing back to her in one swoop. She stood suddenly, excusing herself as politely as she could.  Everyone looked confused at Gwen’s outburst except Emilia, she looked sad, realising the effect of her drunken behaviour as their eyes followed her to the door. Emilia stood up wanting to go after her but then Nik stood, ‘’I’ll go, you stay here’’ He said with a soft smile, Emilia nodded back at him.

So off he went, trying to catch up with Gwen. He knew she had long legs but surely, she hadn’t gone that far. He found her pacing in the corridor, her hands covering her face. As soon as the door swung open, her head shot up and their eyes met. ‘’They know, don’t they?!’’ Gwen groaned, wringing her hands together anxiously.

‘’They don’t know anything, I promise, how could they? I didn’t tell anyone, did you?’’ Nik asked, Gwen shook her head. ‘’Maybe we’re just that predictable? Emilia wasn’t wrong, I did nearly lose it’’ Nik shrugged, moving to stand against the wall behind him.

‘’I know, I know’’ Gwen rambled. ‘’I did too, remember?’’ She asked, meekly, her face flushing.

‘’How could I forget?’’ Nik replied a little too fast and a little too soon. He regretted his choice of reply as soon as the words left his lips.

She just stared at him. ‘’What do you mean?’’

His mouth went dry, suddenly forgetting how to speak normally. ‘’Gwen we’ve been through this, you know that I love you’’ Nik replied but from Gwen’s face that wasn’t enough of an explanation so he delved further. ‘’When I say I love _you_ , I mean _all_ of you, your face, your hair, your laugh, your body-‘’ Nik paused to groan a little. ‘’God especially your body, Gwen you’re perfect’’ Nik exclaimed, holding his hands out to her for emphasis. ’’Everything about you, I love-’’

Nik couldn’t finish his love confession because he had a Gwen on his face pushing his body flat against the wall. He should be used to how it feels but every time he kisses her, it’s as if it’s the 1st time he’s ever kissed her. His toes curled with excitement as his hand grab onto her to make sure that she is really there. She was definitely there, he could taste the fruity wine on her lips, he got chills from her thumbs brushing through his beard as she held his face.

‘’Do you mean it?’’ Gwen asked, muffled by the kiss. ‘’Do you love me?’’

He could feel his chest tightening and his heart was about to burst. ‘’Yes, Gwen I do, I love you’’

For some reason, Nik was a little confused by the response he got from his answer. After he said he loved her, Gwen moaned shyly. Not that he was complaining but he just didn’t expect it. It spurred him on if anything, letting his hands roam around her back, until they finally stopped at the base of her spine, holding her firm against him. Gradually lowering, Nik’s hands slipped around the curve of her bum, he could feel it smooth yet firm below his palm. The effect that Gwen had on him showed, she could feel it harden against her thigh, she was strangely proud.

It was getting a little too graphic for the hall way, the sounds were getting too loud. ‘’Do you want to go upstairs?’’ Nik asked quickly, obviously thinking with his penis.

Gwen never answered, she retreated from the kiss. He had ruined it, nice going Nik!

‘’I’m going to speak to the group and then I’m going upstairs. You need to think about what you want, if it’s me then come to my room. If it’s not then I’ll back off and this won’t happen again’’ Nik said sternly, their eye contact was fierce. Nik leaned in one last time, planting a soft and delicate kiss against her lips. ‘’I know I’m bias, but I hope you chose me’’ He joked, nodding before walking back towards the group.

 

*

 

Everyone’s eyes locked onto Nik as he entered, his nerves kicking in as he has to think of a lie on the spot. ‘’Gwen’s not feeling well so I’m going to walk her back to her room’’. They all seemed to buy it, believing him without question, he nodded and left the room, walking towards the elevator. Reaching his room, he sat on the edge of the bed for what feels like an eternity, waiting for that knock on the door.

 

*

 

Gwen was back to pacing, back and forward, feeling so undecided she felt sick. She didn’t know why she had to be so dramatic, she knew what was going to happen, she couldn’t resist him. It was wrong, she couldn’t do this her brain told her but her vagina had another view, she could feel the dampness of her underwear from the excitement and arousal that the kiss brought her. She paced a few more time before walking to the elevator and taking it up.

The lift stopped on her floor, the doors opened, she could get out here and walk straight to her room or she could press the button for the floor above and walk to Nik’s room, where she knew he was waiting for her. Her heart and head were telling her 2 different answers but one was louder than the other. Which one will she pick?

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn this chapter went in so many different directions.  
> 1st of all, that is my version of the GOT ending, not how I would like it to end but It's not going to be a fairytale ending we all deserve!  
> 2nd, what do you think Gwen will choose?  
> 3rd, this is the penultimate chapter in this series, only 1 more chapter to go :D
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter.  
> As always, comments and critiques are welcome!
> 
> Love, Sarah x  
> -  
> tumblr: sarahoftarth.tumblr.com  
> twitter: twitter.com/sarahoftarthh


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, thanks for clicking, this is the final chapter!  
> I hope you're having a lovely Thursday.

* * *

 

Gwen must have blanked out; her heart was beating unnaturally fast as she stood in the door way of the lift. The next thing she knew her knuckles were knocking on Nik’s door. She had no memory of how she got there, her body was on autopilot but by god she was glad that her mind chose that option. As she walked her mind constantly replayed their heated kisses just minutes ago, feeling his body pressed hard against her, she just needed to feel it again.

Nik jump out of his skin when he heard the knocks at his door. In the back of his mind he kind of thought that Gwen wouldn’t go through with it but knowing she was on the other side of the door made his heart rate double. He opened the door and before he could take in the form before him, a mess of blonde hair was rushing towards him.  

The press of her lips was familiar, more urgent than before but the warmth was the same. Gwen was pushing at his shoulders for him to move further in the room until she was leaned against him with his back against the wall.

‘’ _Gwen_ ’’ Nik groaned trying to get her attention as she started to move her hips against the tent that had started to grown in his pant, his hands coming to rest on her hips to try and slow her movements but this only spurred her on. Another moan from Nik, gripper her hips harder. ‘’Gwen…please…’’

Gwen’s movements didn’t stop, ignoring him she buried her face into his neck, inhaling his scent as she kissed from his shoulder to his ear. ‘’Are you sure about this?’’ Nik mumbled, barely above a whisper, not wanting to say it but it  _had_  to be said.

She wasn’t still for 1 minute, constantly exploring his body with her mouth and hands, tasting a new patch of skin with her lips and tongue while her hands gripped his chest then his arms then his thighs. Nik was humming, her hands were strong, she knew what she wanted and he wasn’t going to stand in the way it, he damn sure wanted it too.

Their lips connected again, their tongues brushed as the kiss deepened. She tasted of the wine she’d been drinking, fruity but slightly bitter. His hands came up to comb through her short hair at the base of her scalp, a small moan muffled through their kiss from Gwen. It was soothing, his tender touch, she had longed for this, she dreamt of his hands caressing her body.

‘’Please tell me you want this’’ Nik said desperately between soft kisses. ‘’Because I don’t think I can stop’’ He moved his hand slowly down her back until it moulded around the curve of her bum, gently squeezing and pressing her closer to his body.

Gwen nodded. ‘’I  _need_  this’’ It came out a little more desperately than she had hoped as her hands clung to his shoulders. She could feel his cock pressed hard against her, it pulsed at her desperation. A twinkle shone in Gwen’s eyes, she’d never wanted someone so much in her whole life and she wasn’t going to hide it, she knew that Nik would treat her the way she’s longed to be treat.

Not that she wasn’t satisfied in her current relationship but it wasn’t  _enough_ , she knew something was missing. It was like an itch that needed to be scratched and he just wasn’t able to reach it.

And throughout their night together, Nik well and truly scratched Gwen’s itch, numerous glorious times. Sometimes it was soft and gentle, they both took their time to enjoy what was happening. Nik’s slow thrusts really drew out their orgasms which only made them more intense, Gwen’s back was arched high off the mattress while her fingers gripped the sheets so tightly they were about to rip. Nik was buried so deep when he finished that he started to shake, she walls fluttering, milking him of all he had.

Other times Gwen took charge of her pleasure, pinning Nik to the bed below her. Throwing her legs over his hips then slowly sinking down until their skin touched, the both of them breathless. Gwen rode Nik like her life depended on it, gone was the sweet tender love, this was raw and hot. Gwen’s head was thrown back, her neck pulled tight as the shrieks came loud and strained out of her mouth. Nik was panting at the display before him, watching her body twist and tense with pleasure, his hands coming forward to touch where he wished his mouth couldn’t. Her breasts bounced in his cupped hands, her nipples rubbed themselves hard against his palms allowing him to roll the peaks between his fingers, sounding a coo from Gwen when he gave them a tug. It’s fair to say that they deserved a little rest. Gwen especially was wrung out, her climax exploded out of her body with a deafening moan as she was as tight as a vice around him. Nik’s load shot out of him as his eyes rolled to the back of his head with a drawn-out groan of ‘’ _Fuuuuuuuck_ ’’

They were both still so wrapped up in their little bubble. Nik was kissing Gwen’s face delicately as he eyes fluttered closed, a warm feeling spreading through her body. She could hear his soft breathing, feel the brush of his beard tickling against her skin, his hand smoothing down the slope of her waist. This is what she wanted, what she craved the most, the intimacy. It made her heart ache a little knowing that this wasn’t real life, this wasn’t forever and that it would be ending soon, she would have to walk out of that room and never look back.

It made her tear up, her feeling for Nik were stronger than she thought. Gwen learned forward and kissed him softly, savouring the warmth of his lips, the urgency behind his kiss back. Blinking away her tears, Gwen pulled back and stood up promptly. ‘’Can I use your shower?’’ She avoided his eyes, knowing that if she looked at him he would see the guilt in her eyes.

Gwen was already walking towards the bathroom when she heard Nik mutter ‘’Yes, of course’’. He was being too kind to her, as he always has been. She didn’t deserve it, she didn’t deserve anything he was giving to her. Shutting herself away in the bathroom, she stood in front of the mirror and let her eyes wash over her body. The evidence of her betrayal, her hair sticking up randomly, her make up smudged from sweat and tears of pleasure.

She must have been stood there a while because Nik knocked on the door. From his spot on the bed, Nik couldn’t hear the water running, she had been in the bathroom for about 10 minutes now. She couldn’t find the words to answer so her eyes turned back to her reflection.

When Nik entered the bathroom, he saw a completely different person before him. She looked destroyed, her posture was off, he could see the guilt she was feeling – not the woman he was in love with. Walking up behind her, Gwen closed her eyes as he placed his hand on her shoulder. His palm burned hot against her cold skin, it made her stand a little straighter as the warmth spread through her body. His fingertips danced down her arm as his other hand cupped her waist, closing the gap between them so he was flush against her back.

Nik’s chin rested firmly on her shoulder, their eyes met in the mirror, it was heated but he saw the sadness start to dissolve from her stare as he started to caress her body. Soft touches again, soothing her soul little by little, quiet sighs leaving her lips. His hands wandered, one going from her hips to her stomach, circling his finger around her belly button and curved fully around her holding her still. The other hand drifted slowly up her body, ghosting the valley of her breasts.

Gwen inhaled a sharp breath; his touches were small but they were intimate. The path of his hand continued until it stilled at the base of her throat, his lips coming to brush against her beside his fingers. Between kisses, Nik was mumbling against her skin, spilling compliments and his thoughts randomly.

‘’I wish I could hold you like this forever’’ Nik confessed. ‘’I wish you were mine’’.

Gwen’s eyes fluttered closed, her bottom lip caught in between her teeth. She felt so at peace, she was completely at his mercy from his touches, completely forgotten about her sadness. Nik was telling her how beautiful he finds her, how strong she is, how it felt to finally be inside her. As his talking got more intimate so did his touches, reaching to trace the shape the swell of her breast, goosebumps spread across her skin. The other hand slipped down her body to cup her mound, threating his fingers through the still damp curls between her legs. Pushing a finger beneath her folds, coating his finger in their mixture of fluids, Nik groaned at the warmth while Gwen whined as his finger brushed her clit. His cock was rock solid, pulsing as it rested against her bum.

‘’I love you’’ Nik mumbled. ‘’Fuck Gwen, I love you so much’’.

Gwen sighed, not from pleasure but from disappointment. ‘’Nik please, don’t do this’’ She was basically begging.

‘’but I do’’ Nik replied sadly, his hand stilling between her legs.

‘’I know you do but you can’t say that while we’re doing this!’’ Gwen huffed. Removing his hands from her body, Gwen walked out of the bathroom back into the bedroom wrapping the bedsheet around her body, suddenly becoming self-aware. The guilt was starting to creep in, it was going so well until he told her he loved her, wanting so badly to say it in return.

He followed her out, gone was the loving atmosphere, the lust for each other, the urge pulling them together. ‘’Why? Just because  _you_  feel guilty?’’. Gwen gave him a warning look in return but he never backed down, asking again. ‘’Well, is it?’’

‘’Stop it’’ She spat back.

Nik felt a surge of confidence from somewhere, maybe it was to finally put himself first as he had always put her first. ‘’You didn’t feel so guilty when you were fucking yourself on my cock an hour ago!’’ Nik shouted, instantly regretting every word, he watched as Gwen’s face dropped. The anger seeped out of her and all that was left was sadness again.

‘’I have to go’’ Gwen spoke quietly, Nik rubbed his hands over his face, feeling his eyes tearing up.

‘’Gwen please don’t go, I’m sorry’’ He begged.

Shaking her head, she busied herself with finding her clothes, putting them on and turning to face him when she finished. ‘’This was a mistake, I have a boyfriend waiting for me at home’’

‘’Don’t you think I know that?!’’ Nik spat back defensively. ‘’These past few years have been hell watching you two together. Knowing he gets to kiss you and hold you, he’s who you go home to at the end of a rough day and who you pull closer in the middle of the night’’ Nik took a jagged breath. ‘’It should be me…’’ Feeling the tears roll down his face.

Gwen just listening, allowing him to let out his feelings. Her heart dropped at his words, he was laying himself bare for her, opening his heart knowing she was going to trample all over it. And she did, walking over to him and kissing his on the cheek. ‘’I know Nik but I can’t do this, I have to leave, I’m sorry’’ She sobbed, her own tears falling. She tasted the salt from his tears and the sweat from their sex, wiping away the rest of his tears before wrapping herself around him. Feeling him tremble in her arms was heart breaking, she hated to do this but it was for the best. Kissing him again, Gwen stepped towards the door, turning briefly before walking out.

‘’I’ll, uh, see you around Nik’’ and like that Gwen was gone.

Nik fell onto his bed, where he stayed for the rest of the night and the next day. Not bothering to surface or to answer anyone’s text messages yet his heart raced when he checked hoping it was Gwen but then his heart sank when her name wasn’t there.

 

*

 

Gwen travelled home the next day, only saying goodbye to Emilia and Alfie. When she checked out, her eyes searched the reception for any sign of Nik, she wasn’t sure whether she was glad or disappointed to not see him. She left that hotel with a heavy heart, her memories of what had happened there would always be with her.

She tried her best to adjust back to normal life but he was always on her mind, Nik plagued her every thought. He hadn’t reached out to her, no phone call or text, not even a like on her social media. It was like he never existed to her anymore. She no longer regretted what had happened, what she regretted more how she left things with Nik.

One night she was sat alone thinking of both what had happened and what could have been, comparing them to her life now. Her body ached to be touched by him again, nothing ever satisfied her like that before. She needed to know if Nik thought of her the same way she thought of him. His strong hands gripping her hips, her breasts, as he thrust deep inside her with an animalistic grunt of her name. Her nipples tensed as her fingers assaulted them, nothing compared to the harsh tugs and twists he gave her or the warmth of his mouth as he drew them deep until she moaned. She squashed her legs together when she remembered the sting of his hand as it spanked her, Nik's voice demanding her to take it as he entered her roughly from behind. His fingers gripped tight around her throat as he fucked her into orgasm after orgasm, she needed to feel something, anything. The ache of her body was delicious, she never wanted it to end. Every time she stood, her muscles groaned in pain but she gushed southwards as her core started to throb. When her fingers caressed her clit all she could think about was the firm swipe of Nik’s tongue, fucking herself on her fingers faster wishing it was his thick cock sliding inside her, filling her until she screamed.

She longed to reach out to him, just to hear his voice in her ears again. So many times she picked up the phone and typed a text to him but then deleted it seconds later or her finger hovered over the call button too long. Would he even want to hear from her? after what she did leaving him like that without even a real goodbye.

In her mind Gwen knew this was for the best, keeping her distance was the safest option, not trusting herself to not run to him at any given chance. But she knew that Nik would always have a place in her heart, they shared something magical and she would never forget how she loved him and more importantly how he loved her back.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to give a HUGE thank you to every single person who has took their time to read, give kudos, comment and subscribe.  
> I'm eternally grateful, I love you all and I hope that you have enjoyed the journey!
> 
> (( I know this is a sad ending but there are sequels and I hear there may be a happy ending for our two favourite love birds ;D ))
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter.  
> As always, comments and critiques are welcome!
> 
> Until next time.  
> All my love, Sarah x  
> -  
> tumblr: sarahoftarth.tumblr.com  
> twitter: twitter.com/sarahoftarthh


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